Saturday, August 28, 2010

Anger and Frustration - It's a bad day

The more that I think about all of the things that need to get done, the more depressed I get about everything.  What should I have done today?  Packed and cleaned.  But what did I do today?  Nothing productive.  So many angry thoughts that need to be worked through and let go of before I can get back to work.  Like why am I spending every waking moment preparing to put the house on the market when he isn't here doing anything?  I'm balancing a full-time job (which BTW takes me away from the home more hours than his does for less money), managing the kids and their social schedule, doing all the household shopping and managing the bills and day-to-day cleaning/errands that need doing and yet I am still cleaning up his crap in my spare time.

See?  So much anger!  Maybe not so much anger as it is frustration.  I just want to shake him and say pitch in for a few weeks/months and then you won't have to deal with us again.  Just do these few things.  Pretty please? 

My neighbor brought over a catalog for a home show she is doing.  I didn't have the heart to say that I really didn't need anything right now because I already think I should downsize every room in the house by half.  Do I need another hurricane lamp or candelabra or serving tray?  No.  But I didn't have the energy to go into that we were getting divorced and (hopefully!) moving soon.  

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