Saturday, August 28, 2010

Limbo - and not in a lame party game kinda way

Things are happening, but nothing is happening fast enough for me.  Once the decision was made to divorce, I thought things would move faster.  We were calm and talked through all the details.  We set goals of when certain projects would be completed so that we could sell the house.  I looked at places to live and dreamed of starting over and being free.  And then... nothing.  The two big projects that were his job haven't even been thought about and we are going on two months since we made the decision.  It's now holding up my projects and keeping me from working with a realtor and it's just  I've cleaned out closets, purged so much miscellaneous stuff, and prepped the kids.  We're all ready but for some reason he's stalling.

I don't know why.  It's not like he wants to stay married.  In fact, I would say he gave up on our marriage, and the idea of a family, shortly before our family vacation in the spring.  Why else would he be out every night of the week?

I came to the realization that he just is not the type of person that can handle having so many people dependent on him.  It is just too much pressure and he can't deal.  His knee-jerk reaction is to abandon and run when things get tough and frankly, we need someone who sticks around through the tough times.  Lately he has missed all the times and has basically left us.  In fact, were it not for his paying the house payment and storing some clothing in the garage, he has left us.

This is the story of one girl trying to rebuild her life, one step at a time, one day at a time. 

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